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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Always
Soviet
Finds
Russia
Party

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
Yakov Smirnoff