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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Always
Soviet
Finds
Russia
Party

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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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