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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Soviet
Determine
Russia
Mark
Jobs
America
Marx
Determines
Marks

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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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