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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Determine
Russia
Mark
Jobs
America
Marx
Determines
Marks
Soviet

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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff