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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
America
Marx
Determines
Marks
Soviet
Determine
Russia
Mark
Jobs
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff