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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Determine
Russia
Mark
Jobs
America
Marx
Determines
Marks
Soviet

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff