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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Drive
Russia
Car
America
Soviet
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
Yakov Smirnoff
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff