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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Car
America
Soviet
Drive
Russia

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff