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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Assassinate
Soviet
Russia
President
America

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
Yakov Smirnoff
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
Yakov Smirnoff