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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Assassinate
Soviet
Russia
President
America

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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff