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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Russia
President
America
Assassinate
Soviet

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff