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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Humorous
Males
Russia
Female
Becomes
Loses
Funny
Male

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff