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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Humorous
Males
Russia
Female
Becomes
Loses
Funny
Male

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff