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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Loses
Funny
Male
Humorous
Males
Russia
Female
Becomes

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
Yakov Smirnoff