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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Thinking
Money
Whole
Build
Feel
Learning
Feels
Comedy
Children
System
Make
Education
Things
Teach
Think
Since

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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff