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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Party
Funny
America
Find
Always
Soviet
Russia
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
Yakov Smirnoff
We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
Yakov Smirnoff
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff