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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
People
Collapsed
Soviet
Union
Unions
Anymore
Wasn
Funny
Thought

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff