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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Prices
Gas
Texas
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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