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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Gas
Texas
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff