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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Texas
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices
Gas

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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