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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices
Gas
Texas
Oil

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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I fed my ego, but not my soul.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
Yakov Smirnoff