Quote

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices
Gas
Texas

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

Image
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
Image
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff