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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices
Gas
Texas
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff