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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices
Gas
Texas
Oil
Washington
High
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
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In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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