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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Gas
Texas
Oil
Washington
High
Reason
Oklahoma
Prices

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
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I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff