Quote

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Telling
Consisted
Comedy
Channels
Turn
Officer
Turns
Channel
Funny
Officers
Two
Propaganda
Back
Russia
Entertainment

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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
Yakov Smirnoff
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
Yakov Smirnoff
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff