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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Comedy
Channels
Turn
Officer
Turns
Channel
Funny
Officers
Two
Propaganda
Back
Russia
Entertainment
Telling
Consisted
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
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Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
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In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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In Soviet Russia, party always finds you!
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
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Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
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I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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