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In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Turns
Channel
Funny
Officers
Two
Propaganda
Back
Russia
Entertainment
Telling
Consisted
Comedy
Channels
Turn
Officer
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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In every country, they make fun of city. In U.S. you make fun of Cleveland. In Russia, we make fun of Cleveland.
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
Yakov Smirnoff
Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
A Russian Reversal quote on Uncyclopedia's Soviet Union article? How original.
Yakov Smirnoff
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
Yakov Smirnoff