Quote

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Yakov Smirnoff

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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Telling
Consisted
Comedy
Channels
Turn
Officer
Turns
Channel
Funny
Officers
Two
Propaganda
Back
Russia
Entertainment

More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff

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We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.
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Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
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After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.
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If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
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I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
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In America, you break law. In Soviet Russia, law breaks you! In America, you watch Big Brother. In Soviet Russia, Big Brother watch you!
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Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.
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Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
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Never having alone time is real tough on people.
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It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.
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Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
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In America, you assassinate president. In Soviet Russia, president assassinate you!
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In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
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I came to America to make it my home, and I did.
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Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.
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My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.
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The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.
Yakov Smirnoff
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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
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I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff