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I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.
Yakov Smirnoff
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Yakov Smirnoff
Age: 73
Born: 1951
Born: January 24
Actor
Comedian
Odesa
Yakov Naumovich Pokhis
Never
Russian
Like
Girls
Comedy
American
Girl
Dream
Women
Showering
Things
Sexually
More quotes by Yakov Smirnoff
I fed my ego, but not my soul.
Yakov Smirnoff
Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.
Yakov Smirnoff
Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, your job determines your marks. In Soviet Russia, Marx determine your job!
Yakov Smirnoff
Russian men have a saying: Women are like buses... That's it.
Yakov Smirnoff
Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, The Party can always find you!
Yakov Smirnoff
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.
Yakov Smirnoff
The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.
Yakov Smirnoff
In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads this is the reason we stop laughing.
Yakov Smirnoff
Never having alone time is real tough on people.
Yakov Smirnoff
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
Yakov Smirnoff
When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.
Yakov Smirnoff
If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.
Yakov Smirnoff
If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.
Yakov Smirnoff
I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to.
Yakov Smirnoff
In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drive you!
Yakov Smirnoff
I was not only typecast as a Russian, but I was typecast as Yakov Smirnoff. This is understandable, and I was very happy to get the roles, but it would be nice to be in a movie where I could be someone else.
Yakov Smirnoff
I was a comedian in Russia, and I worked on the cruise ships there. I met a lot of Americans, and they were laughing even though I didn't speak their language.
Yakov Smirnoff
I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.
Yakov Smirnoff