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There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Film
Back
Better
Aggravate
Nothing
Improve
Done
Looking
Really
Point
Wish
Stuff

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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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Paris is particularly beautiful in the rain. It was just a nice experience for me, a pleasant experience, and I was able to present it to the world through my eyes, very subjectively - not realistically, but subjectively.
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I don't know enough to be incompetent.
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment.
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Notes for a ballet, The Spell: ... Suddenly Sigmund hears the flutter of wings, and a group of wild swans flies across the moon ... Sigmund is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman - unfortunately, divided lengthwise. She enchants Sigmund, who is careful not to make any poultry jokes.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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I've had a very productive life. I've worked very hard, I've never fallen prey to depression. I'm not sure I could have done all of that without being in psychoanalysis.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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Every hooker I ever speak to tells me that it beats the hell out of waitressing.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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God, you Jews are truly exotic. Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?
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