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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Fluid
Meat
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Embalming
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Crab
Crabs
Stuffed
Request
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.
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If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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Life is unresolved, confusing, bewildering, puzzling, ambiguous. You don't really know what's going to happen. The future is uncertain for everybody.
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
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Usually, you hire people that you think are wonderful.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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I always feel, I guess being a product of the movies of the 40s where movies were the greatest things and screens were big and palaces were palaces and stars were larger than life that reality was so much inferior to what we felt was conceivably possible from what we had seen in the movies.
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