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There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
World
Sex
Two
Firsts
First
Important
Things
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I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.
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Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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All i have in my life is my imagination
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Gauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionists Had Been Dentists
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun.
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
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If you aren't failing every now and then, you're probably playing it too safe.
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it.
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Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name
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My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
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As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
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