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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Afterwards
Except
Dying
Making
Love
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool?
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films.
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Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.
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My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it.
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There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
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I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years.
Woody Allen
