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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Afterwards
Except
Dying
Making
Love
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More quotes by Woody Allen
Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
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To me there’s no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They’re all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful.
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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A Bay Area Bisexual told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
Woody Allen
Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true.
Woody Allen
I love the rain - it washes memories off the sidewalk of life.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you.
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I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him.
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90 per cent of success is turning up.
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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If 90% of success in life is showing up, the other 10% depends on what you're showing up for.
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It's just gossip, you know. Gossip is the new pornography.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college.
Woody Allen
I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law
Woody Allen
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
