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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Like
Afterwards
Except
Dying
Making
Love
More quotes by Woody Allen
One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time.
Woody Allen
I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba.
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything.
Woody Allen
Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.
Woody Allen
I think you should defend to the death their right to march, and then go down and meet them with baseball bats. (On the KKK)
Woody Allen
If the world is a progressively realized community of interpretation, then either quadruplictity will drink procrastination or, provided that the nothing negates, boredom will ensue seldom more often than frequently.
Woody Allen
If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
Woody Allen
The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
The history of the world is like: He kills me, I kill him, only with different cosmetics and different castings. So in 2001, some fanatics killed some Americans, and now some Americans are killing some Iraqis. And in my childhood, some Nazis killed Jews. And now, some Jewish people and some Palestinians are killing each other.
Woody Allen
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
Woody Allen
I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers.
Woody Allen
I never think I feel cynical in general. Cynical is reality with an alternate spelling. I feel there's a gigantic amount of injustice and overt crime every day in the world, from emotional crimes to international crimes, and it often carries rewards.
Woody Allen
I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.
Woody Allen
The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
Woody Allen
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem.
Woody Allen
Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
Woody Allen
One man starving puts a crimp in my evening.
Woody Allen
My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one
Woody Allen
