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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Tumor
Tumors
Depressed
Instead
Grow
Grows
More quotes by Woody Allen
When I started out, I was a television writer, and we wrote a television show that was on live every week. And you didn't have the luxury of coming in and waiting to be inspired. You came in and you had to write. And you wrote, because it was going to be live on the air. So I can do that.
Woody Allen
I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon.
Woody Allen
[Stanley] Kubrick was a great artist and a perfectionist. He always wanted the exact right thing. He did a million takes. Everything had to be perfect. I'm an imperfectionist. I don't really care that much about the work. I write quickly. I'm careless. I shoot carelessly.
Woody Allen
There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith.
Woody Allen
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Woody Allen
I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her.
Woody Allen
There's no point in looking back, because there's nothing you can really do to improve the film. You can only aggravate and wish you had done stuff better.
Woody Allen
I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
Woody Allen
If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
Woody Allen
Can you believe that? She says I'm not leader enough for her. Who was she looking for... Hitler?
Woody Allen
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
Woody Allen
I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
I can't do anything to death, doctor's orders.
Woody Allen
Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
Woody Allen
Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
Woody Allen
I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.
Woody Allen
That (sex) was the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence.
Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
Woody Allen
