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I don't get depressed I grow a tumor instead.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Depressed
Instead
Grow
Grows
Tumor
Tumors
More quotes by Woody Allen
Child molestation is a touchy subject... Read the papers! Half the country's doing it!
Woody Allen
Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
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I can't minimize the terror factor. As you get older you get more and more frightened because the terrible indignities of old age become closer to you.
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The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.
Woody Allen
Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
Woody Allen
The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light.
Woody Allen
Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!
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The best an idea gets is when its in your head.
Woody Allen
Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality.
Woody Allen
When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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The movie is usually, for me, something organic that grows all the time. I sit home and write it, and I'm in an isolated, four-walled environment, and I don't know what's going on. I just write it, and it's appearing in my head in some idealized way where every single moment works, and every little thing is perfect, because it's in my head.
Woody Allen
There is always the possibility that people will change. Real change is more rare. You are who you are at a certain age in life you are pretty much a variation of that your whole life. It's conceivable that you will change but it's not likely.
Woody Allen
I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
Woody Allen
I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.
Woody Allen
God is silent. Now if only man would shut up.
Woody Allen
