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90 per cent of success is turning up.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Turning
Success
Cent
Cents

More quotes by Woody Allen

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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess.
Woody Allen
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
Woody Allen
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When a film is reviled, you open a film and people say Oh, it's the stupidest thing, it's the worst movie. You think: oh, nobody's going to ever speak to you again. But, it doesn't happen. Nobody cares. You know, they read it and they say Oh, they hated your film. You care, at the time. But they don't. Nobody else cares.
Woody Allen
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Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?
Woody Allen
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
Woody Allen
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
Woody Allen
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
Woody Allen
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
Woody Allen
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.
Woody Allen
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
Woody Allen
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
Woody Allen
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody Allen
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I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.
Woody Allen
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Where did we come from? Where are we going? Is there possibility of a group discount?
Woody Allen
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
Woody Allen
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Woody Allen
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
Woody Allen
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action.
Woody Allen
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen