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90 per cent of success is turning up.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Turning
Success
Cent
Cents

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Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.
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90% of success in life is showing up
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What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause!
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There have been times when I've thought about it - but with my luck it would probably turn out to be only a temporary solution.
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Those modern analysts, they charge so much! In my day, for five marks Freud himself would treat you. For ten marks he would treat you and press your pants. For fifteen marks Freud would let you treat him - that included a choice of any two vegetables.
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
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I consider myself a completely lucky filmmaker. I've had nothing but good luck. Everything I've needed has come my way.
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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Death is an acquired trait.
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I can do a limited amount of things and that's what I do and I feel comfortable doing it and I have no particular desire to do anything else as an actor.
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
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A: Socrates is a man. B: All men are mortal. C: All men are Socrates.
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I foresee death by culture shock.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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I think [aging] has nothing to recommend it. You don't gain any wisdom as the years go by. You fall apart, is what happens. People try and put a nice varnish on it, and say, well, you mellow. You come to understand life and accept things. But you'd trade all of that for being 35 again.
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Take the money and run.
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