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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Criminals
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Citizens
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Helped

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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
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I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
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You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
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Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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I think Frank Capra was a much craftier filmmaker, a wonderful filmmaker. He had enormous technique, and he knew how to manipulate the public quite brilliantly.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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I write the script nobody sees it, not the people that put the money in the picture. I cast who I want, and make the film. That's why I've always felt the only thing standing between me and greatness, is me. There's no excuse for me not to be great except that I'm not.
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My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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I've often felt that life is a hard deal and it's unrelentingly tragic and an uphill fight.
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
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