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Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Public
Gun
Rifle
Service
Rifles
Group
Guns
National
Association
Members
Member
Citizens
Shoot
Groups
Helped
Probably
Criminals

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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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There's nothing wrong with you that a little Prozac and a polo mallet can't cure.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live.
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck.
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It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
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If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
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I wish I was writing something much more heavy each time I did a film, and that the comedies just occasionally come out. But unfortunately you're stuck with what you're born with.
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom.
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Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky.
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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