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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Baby
Dane
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Woman
Block
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Mother
Gave
Triplets
More quotes by Woody Allen
When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.
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For some reason I'm more appreciated in France than I am back home. The subtitles must be incredibly good.
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
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Man was made in God`s image. Do you really think God has red hair and glasses?
Woody Allen
History is the same thing over and over again.
Woody Allen
The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.
Woody Allen
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Woody Allen
I prefer the magic to reality, and have since I was 5 years old. Hopefully, I can continue to make films and constantly escape into them.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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I have no regard for that kind of ceremony. I just don't think they know what they're doing. When you see who wins those things-or who doesn't win them-you can see how meaningless this Oscar thing is.
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My grandfather had a wonderful funeral... On the buffet table there was a replica of the deceased in potato salad.
Woody Allen
The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
Woody Allen
Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.
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I think I've gotten technically better over the years but you'd have to be a fool not to. I've made so many movies that by sheer quantity you get better at the technique.
Woody Allen