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Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen

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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
Woody Allen
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
Woody Allen
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
Woody Allen
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Showing up is 80 percent of life.
Woody Allen
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
Woody Allen
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What a world. It could be so wonderful if it wasn't for certain people.
Woody Allen
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God is either cruel or incompetent.
Woody Allen
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One filmmaker makes films that are deep, intellectual, profound and confrontational. And the other one makes purely vacuous, escapist films. I'm not sure the one who makes escapist films is making a poorer contribution than the one who makes the deeper films.
Woody Allen
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Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
Woody Allen
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Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female.
Woody Allen
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
Woody Allen
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If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody.
Woody Allen
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
Woody Allen
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
Woody Allen
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
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Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
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I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.
Woody Allen
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
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The roe is reputed to sleep for a thousand years and then suddenly rise in flames, particularly if it was smoking when it dozed off.
Woody Allen