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After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Weaker
Belong
Sex

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Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up.
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.
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In my next life I want to live backwards. Start out dead and finish off as an orgasm.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen.
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You're so good looking I can barely keep my eyes on the meter.
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My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying.
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.
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All over the world, relationships between men and women are very, very tricky and very difficult and you don't learn anything. It's not an exact science, so you can't learn anything. You're always going by instinct and your instinct betrays you because you want what you want when you want it.
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling.
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me I want to be stuffed with crab meat.
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