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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Stayed
Forty
Spite
Parents
Parent
Together
Years

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Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.
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There is dignity in suffering nobility in pain but failure is a salted wound, that burns and burns again!
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If you aren't failing, you aren't trying.
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My brain? It's my second favorite organ!
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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I don't like to reminisce much, and my walls don't have photographs of me and the actors I was with, or any of that stuff... I try and keep that disciplined, and just work. There are so many traps you can get into, and looking back on your own work is certainly one of them.
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My films are misinterpreted all the time. I don't mind that. Everybody's films are misinterpreted. But there's no malice or stupidity in the people that misinterpret them. You know what you do, but someone else sees it, and they want to talk about it or write about it, and so they misinterpret them.
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
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I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts.
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow.
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Those who can't do, teach!
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Isn't all mankind ultimately executed for a crime it never committed?
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You can't anticipate in the room the riches of what you encounter when you're location hunting for a movie.
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If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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I believe people ought to mate for life...like pigeons or Catholics.
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