Quote

My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Years
Stayed
Forty
Spite
Parents
Parent
Together

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Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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The audience is making the film and not the film-maker.
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
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I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams.
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A fast word about oral contraception. I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'.
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The prettiest women are almost always the most boring, and that is why some people feel there is no God.
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I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.
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If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?
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