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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Stayed
Forty
Spite
Parents
Parent
Together
Years
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Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: Let us out, let us out!.
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person!
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal.
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When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing.
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead.
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