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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Disappointed
Divorce
Born
Girl
Mother
Wanted
Terribly

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I am plagued by doubts.
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Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again… I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O’Neill were laughing.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
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In real life I'm not the character I play in my films. I'm reasonably competent, I work very hard, I'm disciplined, I lead a very middle class life. I work in the mornings, I have lunch, I practise my clarinet, I go to the movies, I eat out in restaurants or watch ball games on television or at the ball games.
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Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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With me it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles.
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.
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Culturally speaking, I was raised in a Jewish household. In addition to the religious side of it, I was taught respect for books and learning and the higher professions like medicine and law and teaching.
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I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
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When I am in New York, I want to be in Europe, and when I am in Europe, I want to be in New York.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
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