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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Woody Allen
I think, on both sides of the camera or the novel: Distraction. I'm obsessed with: Can I get this actress or my third act to work? I'm distracted. I'm interested in that so I don't sit home and think, Gee, life is meaningless. We're all going to die. The universe is pulling apart at breakneck speed.
Woody Allen
Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.
Woody Allen
I spend a lot of time idly. I go to sporting events, play my clarinet. I practise. But if you work every day, a certain amount on a steady basis, the work accumulates.
Woody Allen
If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
Woody Allen
It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction.
Woody Allen
We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.
Woody Allen
Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
Woody Allen
Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
Woody Allen
My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.
Woody Allen
I read in self-defense.
Woody Allen
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
Woody Allen
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Woody Allen
Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to.
Woody Allen
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody Allen
Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.
Woody Allen
I always thought that as long as man is mortal, he will never be relaxed.
Woody Allen
If you don't have fun doing the film, then the results of the film will never give you any fun.
Woody Allen
As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
Woody Allen
