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Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
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Character Actor
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
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You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life but for the two of us something wasn't working.' 'What element?' 'We never found out
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I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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Dying is like making love, except you don't get naseous afterwards.
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If I could just hope to have a major talent, then I would rather have it in music than in any other field.
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks.
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
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Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed.
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I'm a teleological, existential agnostic.
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Standing in a garage no more makes you a car than standing in a church makes you a Christian.
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The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country.
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.
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The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'
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The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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When I first started, there were writers that I looked up to that I felt very influenced by and very respectful toward their work and their opinion of my work.
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You know how you're always trying to get things to come out perfect in art because it's real difficult in life
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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