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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Wells
Marion
Well
Spreading
Name
Trouble
Middle
Names
Actually
Around
More quotes by Woody Allen
What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop?
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Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep.
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When you travel around the country, you see what a tough town New York is: rude, competitive, a town where good, logical ideas are ignored in favor of unworkable ones. And yet, all these other towns are so dead and boring compared to New York.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife.
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You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on.
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The whole country was tied together by radio. We all experienced the same heroes and comedians and singers. They were giants.
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The audience goes to sleep really quickly! If you have a slight pause at the wrong time, that's it!
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In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.
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I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.
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If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
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I'm short enough and ugly enough to succeed on my own.
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I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
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When you work from city to city or country to country, you work the same way the working method is the same.
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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery.
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
Woody Allen
