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My films are a form of psychoanalysis, except that it is I who am paid, which changes everything.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Except
Film
Form
Change
Everything
Psychoanalysis
Changes
Films
Paid

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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!
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Chastity is curable, if detected early.
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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
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If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check.
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Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.
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Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.
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You make a film and always hope you're going make Citizen Kane or The Bicycle Thief. You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely.
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Some people think about sex all the time some people think of sex some of the time and some people never think about sex: they become lawyers.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.
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Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves.
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It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either.
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Should I marry W? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. And what about her career? How can I ask a woman of her beauty to give up the Roller Derby? Decisions...
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Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things.
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To be a film director is not a democracy, it's really a tyranny. You're the head of the project, for better rather than worse. I write the film and I direct the film, I decide who's going to be in it, I decide on the editing, I put in the music from my own record collection.
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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The only thing standing between me and greatness is me.
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Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
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