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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Part
Driving
Used
Passing
Life
Car
Fronts
Front
Worst
Eyes
Eye
Passings
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her.
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Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic.
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I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian.
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up.
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying.
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I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film.
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