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All my life is passing in front of my eyes. The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Used
Passing
Life
Car
Fronts
Front
Worst
Eyes
Eye
Passings
Part
Driving

More quotes by Woody Allen

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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world.
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script--at least in my case.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman.
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The wicked at heart probably know something.
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense.
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But what if everyone in the world behaved like me and came here and shot Brisseau through the ear? What a mess! And of course we'd need valet parking.
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When I naturally write a story and I feel that the guy is sitting across the table from the girl and flirting with her... I think, 'God, that can't be me' because I'm just too old for that part. You need a 30-year-old or a 35-year-old for that part. And so I've given myself less and less roles.
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I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.
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The content dictates the style all the time. That's the way it is. If the content of the film - as in Husbands and Wives - is highly jagged, neurotic, fast-paced, nervous New York film, it just called for that kind of shooting, editing and performance.
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I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.
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The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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You can't control life. It doesn't wind up perfectly. Only-only art you can control. Art and masturbation. Two areas in which I am an absolute expert.
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Me sitting down for dinner with Ingmar Bergman felt like a house painter sitting down with Picasso.
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.
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You are much more dependent on luck than you think. People say if you want to have a good relationship, you have to work at it. But you never hear it about anything you really like, about sailing or going to soccer games.
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, [...] which is cold comfort.
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Ninety percent of life is just showing up.
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