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Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Problem
Come
Like
Toilet
Toilets
Pull
Ten
Paper
Problems
More quotes by Woody Allen
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer. Not to love is to suffer.
Woody Allen
I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
Woody Allen
My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life.
Woody Allen
I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.
Woody Allen
There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
Woody Allen
I call that mind free which jealously guards its intellectual rights and powers, which calls no man master, which does not content itself with a passive or hereditary faith, [and] receives new truth as an angel from Heaven.
Woody Allen
Don't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.
Woody Allen
Sex and death. Two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous.
Woody Allen
I'm not anti-social. I'm just not social.
Woody Allen
[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.
Woody Allen
Hey listen -- I've proved a lot of things. That's how I pay my rent. Theories and little observations. A puckish remark now and then. Occasional maxims. It beats picking olives, but let's not get carried away.
Woody Allen
The dictatorship is shut up, democracy is always concerned.
Woody Allen
My mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.
Woody Allen
The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing.
Woody Allen
No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck.
Woody Allen
The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
Woody Allen
I was raised in a religious home. It was unreasonable enforced religion that turned me off it. It was a joyless, unpleasant, stupid, barbaric thing when I was a child and I've never gotten over that feeling. If you're talking about religion it's one thing I don't hold Jewish religion with any more seriousness than I would any other.
Woody Allen
I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!
Woody Allen
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Woody Allen
Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.
Woody Allen
