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Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale?
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 89
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
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Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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More quotes by Woody Allen
There is no justice, there is no rational structure to it [life]. That is just the way it is, and each person figures out some way to cope.
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy!
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As I got more confident, I was able to let actors improvise, and do long takes. It's 10%, 5% you learn and experience. The rest you just have or you don't have.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you’re forfeiting your humanity.
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I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.
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I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.
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I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
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Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.
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Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.
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The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy.
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I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have.
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I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
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The best things in life are censored.
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I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down.
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