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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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People
Silly
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Deserve
Judgment
Accept
Abide
Accepting
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Cannot
Awards

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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies.
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Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy.
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
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I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens.
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I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points?
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To you I'm an atheist to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
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I'm awash in self-contempt!
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I had an IQ test. The results came back negative.
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I'm a comedian. I make comic films and there are certain ideas that occur to me that are comic, with heavy, serious undertones. There are some ideas that are more frivolous to me. The next idea that could occur to me could be comedy about death and famine or something.
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.
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There's no rhyme or reason to anything that I do. It's whatever seems right at the time.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot.
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion.
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Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.
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