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The whole concept of awards is silly. I cannot abide by the judgment of other people, because if you accept it when they say you deserve an award, then you have to accept it when they say you don't.
Woody Allen
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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
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The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
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Awards
More quotes by Woody Allen
I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
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A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.
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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s.
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I have a great admiration for English actors and actresses and have used them at every opportunity over the years, but now I won't have to import them to New York.
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it.
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Life is full of moments that are good - winning a lottery, seeing a beautiful woman, a great dinner - but the whole thing is tragic. It's an oasis that is very pleasant.
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.
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I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm.
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I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.
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Once munching has begun, Schopenhauer held, the human will cannot resist further munching, and the result is a universe with crumbs over everything.
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I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
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The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you.
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage.
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The heart wants what it wants.
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I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.
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If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer.
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I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business.
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