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I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.

Woody Allen

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Woody Allen
Age: 88
Born: 1935
Born: December 1
Author
Character Actor
Clarinetist
Comedian
Composer
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Jazz Musician
Journalist
Musician
Playwright
The Bronx
New York City
Allan Stewart Konigsberg
Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Heywood Allen
Insight
Mistakes
Mistake
Wisdom
Today
Make
Would
Mellowing
Gained

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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you.
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If you're not failing, you're not trying anything.
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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I'm not saying I didn't enjoy myself, but I didn't.
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Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
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If I just got up in the morning and had no place to go and was retired or something, I would be sitting there and be thinking, Gee, what is the purpose of life? Why are we all finite? Why do we get old and die? Is there nothing out there? Why is it so tragic? Why do our loved ones perish? Why do we generate? Who wants to think about that stuff
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I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you.
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Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.
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When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.
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Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.
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Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
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While we're waiting for a cab I'll give you your lesson for today. Don't listen to what your teachers tell ya, you know. Don't pay attention. Just, just see what they look like and that's how you'll know what life is really gonna be like.
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.
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I never start editing a film until it's completely shot I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here [screening room] and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished.
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Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner.
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I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.
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Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement!
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